with your own penis?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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