That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
