I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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