Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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