So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
