Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
