but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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