Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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