i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
