I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
