Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
