ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
