Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
