My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i love accidental penises.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
