Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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