i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
