where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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