I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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