you guys were way drunker than both of me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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