yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
