at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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