Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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