i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
