pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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