Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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