Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
