I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
