"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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