I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize