Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize