why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize