fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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