this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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