does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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