biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
