Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
