Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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