Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
where are you?
Hypothermia
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
