I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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