Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
