Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
