Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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