Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
