end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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