i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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