sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
