Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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