is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
