Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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