So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
