Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
