Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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