Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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