When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
