New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
