I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
