No stitches, just platelets and will power
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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