1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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