My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
