You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
