so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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