In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
